When we talk about the topic of True Love: Being Happy Together … this includes moving from selfishness to companionship, becoming together, interpersonal communion, the gift of each other, welcoming and accepting each other, attentiveness and truthfulness, sharing yourself with each other, making sacrifices for each other, making room for each other in each other’s life, forgiving each other and asking for forgiveness, comforting and helping each other heal, being at the service of the other, having courage and taking action.

The next question is What are the other pieces and what do they truly include and look like concretely in every day life?

12. Living in Joy - Happy Together

“In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb” - Catechism of the Catholic Church

Marriage and married life is a life in the pursuit of happiness, but finding it requires effort. When a couple, it is important to try not to purposely change each other, control each other, or hurt each other. You become a “we.” As you more openly communicate with each other, both of you will grow and change together… but, do not wait for your spouse to change, the change begins with you. Wherever there is pain in your relationship begin to change in those areas… replace your attitudes and behaviors with the loving behaviors of Christ

Some Practical Ways:

1. Where there is sarcasm and impatience, introduce kindness and tolerance

2. Where there is misunderstanding seek to understand.

3. Where you find that you are ignoring your beloved, show attentiveness

4. Where you find that you are not being forthright or honest… be truthful

5. Where you act with a self-centered attitude learn to be magnanimous and be willing to sacrifice what you want.

6. Where you find that you have hurt your spouse, ask for forgiveness

7. Where you have been hurt offer your forgiveness

8. Where there is stress of physical pain offer support and compassion

9. Where your spouse needs help don’t hesitate to offer a hand.

10. When in doubt…. give love.

11. Out of love, challenge your spouse and confront certain behaviors

12. Be open to God to help you to grow and have faith to give you the energy to make the changes and to grow in love.

13. Pray to the Holy Spirit and ask for courage to overcome your selfish tendencies, guidance to take the first step in making changes, humility to seek and understand your spouse, and wisdom to say and do what is right.

14. Remember you are not perfect, and neither is your beloved… when prompted by the Holy Spirit - forgive.

15. Remember that the love you experience here is a reflection of Divine Love… and that True Love is a gift from God.

Based on Happy Together by John Bosio )

With Analysis, Insight, Writing and Perspective by Mary E. Grenchus

If you would like to go deeper into transforming your relationships, please sign up for one of our Coaching Programs and we will be more than happy to help you through!