Romance, Sex, and Marriage! Yes! We said it!! Romance, sex and marriage! How does this relate to being lovestruck vs in love - having true love, and what does this really look like in today’s world? Many people would come up with many different answers to this question…But this particular posts examines this through the lens of The Song of Solomon… to understand the “How” we have to understand the “Why” ! We are talking all things Sexual Intimacy in this post and the ones to follow!

Jaynes argues that although sex is present in culture and sex appeal is real thing, Jaynes states: “the problem is not that our culture focuses on sex too much but that it values sex too little. Sex is meant to be so much more than a physical act of carnage urges. Sex was created to be a sacred union between a husband and a wife, designed by a holy, ingenius and immensely generous God. When we understand the weighty worth and sacred significance of sex, we treasure and enjoy it even more! God intended sex to be a gift. (xiv)

Jaynes goes on to state: “with the delay of marriage the doubt of it’s longevity, and the devaluing of physical intimacy, many in our culture have traded in the invaluable treasure of marital lovemaking for dime-store hook-up sex….God isn’t a spoilsport who wants to keep people from having sex, but a loving, masterful Creator who wants married couples to experience passionate physical intimacy for a lifetime. Furthermore ~ the thrilling passion of sex and the other worldliness of love point our hearts toward the embodiment of love, God Himself.(xv-xvii)

So, what is the Song of Solomon?

According to Jaynes, the Song of Solomon is “a poem and a love song that portrays God’s original intent for courtship, romance, and marriage. Its analogies are erotic, yet pure, something our culture has struggled with reconciling. Parts of it may make you blush…but remember this is a part of marriage… sexual intimacy is a special part of marriage that is to be celebrated….”When you and your partner experience the passion God intended, God stands up and cheers!

Sex, in itself, is not “bad and dirty”…the bible contradicts this way of thinking about sex. Scripture shows that sex is not an evil that marriage permits (as some cultures may view it, or as some cultures dishonor women forcing women to have sex with their husbands even if the woman is not in the mood, (or in cases of sexual abuse in marriage or outside of it) or other cultures where women are not ready to be physically intimate with someone), but rather, as a gift that marriage protects. In the Song of Solomon passage the woman is seen as the main character and the story is told from her point of view. We, as the reader, are privy to her private thoughts, her dreams, her longings - her own words. This in itself was unusual for the time it was written, as many women were seen as property at that time. The Song of Songs translates to “The Greatest of Songs” where the author considers romantic love to be the Greatest of all Songs… because within this, women were not treated as property, but also because we see the voice and song of the woman matters, and has great value and worth. Her love and her ability to love, as well as the love of her beloved for her, and their deeply intimate relationship is the Greatest of Songs. (recognize also, other interpretations state this is also God’s/Jesus’ relationship with the Church).

Want to know more?!

Stay tuned for our Next Post which goes into the “Mystery of Physical Attraction” …

(Based on Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, & Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon by Sharon Jaynes)

With Analysis, Insight, Writing and Perspective by Mary E. Grenchus

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