How to Tell if Your Boss is All About A Power Struggle... And What to Do About it.
Mary Grenchus
When a boss is primarily focused on power and control rather than collaboration or growth, there are often telltale signs. Here’s how to recognize if your boss is engaged in a power struggle:
1. Micromanages everything:
They insist on controlling every detail of your work, refusing to delegate or trust employees to make decisions independently, often stifling creativity and initiative.
2. Constantly asserts authority:
They frequently remind you (and others) that they’re in charge, using their position to command respect rather than earning it through leadership and support.
3. Inconsistent or unfair decision-making:
Their decisions may be arbitrary, favoring certain people or projects without clear rationale, often reinforcing their position of power rather than what’s best for the team.
4. Takes credit for others' work:
They consistently take credit for your accomplishments and ideas, using your successes to boost their own authority, while downplaying or ignoring your contributions.
5. Shuts down dissenting opinions:
They are unwilling to listen to feedback, dismissing or punishing employees who offer differing perspectives or challenge their decisions, creating an environment where only their views matter.
6. Withholds information:
They keep critical information to themselves as a way to maintain control and power, making it difficult for others to perform well or make informed decisions.
7. Plays people against each other:
They foster competition or tension among employees by favoring one person over another, encouraging office politics, or creating a climate of fear and rivalry to keep people on edge and compliant.
8. Takes pleasure in others’ failures:
They seem to enjoy when others struggle or fail, using it as an opportunity to assert their dominance rather than helping team members grow and improve.
9. Manipulates to stay in control:
They use manipulation tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or creating confusion to ensure others remain dependent on them for guidance or approval.
10. Refuses to admit mistakes:
They are unwilling to acknowledge their own errors or shortcomings, often shifting blame to others to avoid appearing weak or vulnerable.
11. Overuses punishment or threats:
They frequently use threats of demotion, job loss, or other consequences to control behavior and maintain authority, rather than providing constructive feedback or support.
12. Limits employee growth and visibility:
They block or limit your access to opportunities, promotions, or recognition to ensure that you don’t rise too quickly or challenge their position of power.
13. Promotes based on loyalty, not merit:
They reward those who are most loyal to them personally, rather than those who perform best or contribute most to the team, reinforcing a power dynamic based on favoritism.
14. Feels threatened by capable employees:
They are uncomfortable when someone else shows leadership potential or competence, often trying to undermine, criticize, or isolate that person to maintain their dominance.
15. Creates unnecessary bureaucracy:
They put excessive processes, layers of approval, or obstacles in place that make even simple tasks cumbersome, ensuring that all decisions funnel through them.
These behaviors indicate that your boss may be more focused on maintaining control and power rather than fostering a productive, collaborative, and supportive work environment. If these signs are present, it can create a toxic work culture, which may hinder personal growth and team success. So, two questions remain… How to handle a boss that is all about a power struggle…. and how to handle a toxic work culture …
Dealing with a boss who is constantly engaged in a power struggle can be challenging and stressful, but there are strategies to manage this dynamic effectively while protecting your own well-being. Here’s how to handle a boss focused on control and dominance:
1. Set clear boundaries:
Identify non-negotiables: Be clear about what you can and cannot tolerate, such as constant intrusion into your personal time or excessive micromanagement. Politely assert these boundaries when necessary.
Respectfully push back: If they’re overstepping or micromanaging too much, you can say, “I’ve got this task under control, but I’ll let you know if I need help,” to subtly reinforce your independence.
2. Pick your battles:
Prioritize what matters: Don’t challenge your boss on every issue. Focus on the bigger, more impactful areas where you can demonstrate your value and work effectively. Save your energy for critical situations where pushing back is necessary.
Let go of small things: Sometimes, letting minor issues go can preserve your mental energy and avoid unnecessary conflict. Focus on long-term goals rather than getting stuck on the day-to-day power plays.
3. Stay calm and composed:
Maintain professionalism: Your boss might try to provoke or dominate conversations, but staying calm, composed, and professional helps prevent escalation. Avoid reacting emotionally, as this can fuel the power struggle.
Use neutral language: Instead of using confrontational language, opt for calm, solution-oriented phrases like, “Let’s find a way to solve this,” or, “I’d like to better understand your priorities here.”
4. Document interactions:
Keep a record: If your boss’s behavior crosses into unprofessional or toxic territory (e.g., unreasonable demands, gaslighting, unfair treatment), document these incidents with details on what happened, when, and how it affected your work. This can be useful if you need to report it later.
Track your accomplishments: Keep a record of your achievements and contributions to protect yourself in case your boss tries to take credit for your work or undermine your efforts.
5. Anticipate their needs:
Stay a step ahead: Micromanagers often feel the need to assert control because they fear being out of the loop. Anticipating their concerns and providing regular updates can help reduce the urge to micromanage.
Provide proactive solutions: If you know your boss likes to weigh in on decisions, present a solution along with options they can choose from. This gives them a sense of control while also allowing you to guide the outcome.
6. Use their need for power to your advantage:
Make them feel in control: Sometimes, acknowledging their position and giving them a sense of control can de-escalate power struggles. Frame ideas or suggestions in a way that allows them to take ownership, such as, “Based on your guidance, I think this might work—what do you think?”
Give credit where it’s due: Praise their leadership (when appropriate) and frame your work as aligning with their goals. This can satisfy their need for recognition and reduce conflict.
7. Stay aligned with their priorities:
Understand their goals: Knowing what your boss values or aims to achieve can help you stay aligned with their priorities. When you focus on supporting their objectives, they may be less likely to micromanage you.
Clarify expectations: Regularly check in to make sure you’re on the same page about goals, deadlines, and expectations. This reduces misunderstandings that can lead to power struggles.
8. Strengthen your communication skills:
Communicate frequently: Proactively share updates and progress reports, keeping your boss informed before they feel the need to ask. This can prevent them from feeling out of control and micromanaging.
Ask for feedback constructively: When they offer criticism or corrections, respond with openness. Ask for clarity on how you can improve, demonstrating that you’re receptive to their input without engaging in a struggle.
9. Create a network of support:
Build relationships with colleagues: Cultivate a positive relationship with other coworkers or higher-ups who may act as allies or provide insight. This network can offer support and help reduce feelings of isolation when dealing with a power-struggling boss.
Seek advice from a mentor: Having an external mentor or coach can provide valuable advice on how to navigate the dynamics with your boss and may help you manage the situation with greater perspective.
10. Stay confident and assertive:
Know your value: Understand your strengths and contributions, and don’t let their power plays diminish your confidence. Assert yourself politely but firmly when needed to maintain your sense of authority over your work.
Use facts, not emotions: When engaging with your boss, rely on data and facts to make your case, which can prevent the conversation from becoming personal or emotional.
11. Consider formal steps if necessary:
Escalate when appropriate: If your boss’s behavior becomes untenable (e.g., harassment, bullying, unethical practices), consider escalating the issue to HR or higher management. Use your documentation to support your case.
Explore internal mobility: If the power struggles are continuous and there is no resolution in sight, you might explore transferring to another department within the company where the culture may be healthier.
12. Prepare for exit if needed:
Know when to move on: If the environment becomes toxic or if dealing with your boss is taking too much of a toll on your well-being, it may be time to start looking for other opportunities. Prioritize your mental health and career growth.
Exit gracefully: If you decide to leave, do so professionally, without burning bridges. A well-planned exit keeps your reputation intact and ensures you leave on your terms, not theirs.
Handling a boss who is obsessed with power requires patience, strategy, and self-care. Focus on what you can control, set boundaries, and use professional tactics to manage the relationship effectively. If the situation becomes unbearable, it’s important to evaluate your long-term career and well-being.