07/01/2021
Happy July 1st Dear Ones!!
I know it may have been a challenging month for you - so here is to help you to let go of anything you may be letting stand in your way of just being you!
Love your children and fill them with love and mercy and kindness…
Do not be upset or ashamed about being a bi-racial family…. there is nothing to be ashamed or upset about! You are full of love and life and every child is a blessing (I know you already know this but, I want to reaffirm it … just in case anything has come up over the last few months.. and in case anything comes up in the future… be proud your parenthood… you are soo blessed!
I am sharing some photos with you to continue to support you in your journey…. I know you will love these…. and they will give you hope.. and peace… and help you to overcome anything that may stand in your way.. or anything anyone tries to make stand in your way etc…
Megs, always know you can reach out to me and talk to me about anything … if you are having any problems post-pregnancy - let me know …. If you feel bad or if you are not feeling loveable or worn out or any of those things, let me know… I am here as your sister to support you and help you through whatever… also do not be afraid to share your family photos with others… Your family photos become an inspiration for others… all of you just being you - in exactly who you are… is what inspires people… so never be afraid…you are all a gift… when I delivered… i delivered early…. I was afraid to share any photos with anyone in case the babies died, and because I looked horrendous in my mind… I felt horrible… like physically because I had a vaginal delivery and a c-section… and my body had alot to recover from… on top of the incision from the c-section and them cutting me open before i was anesthetized… as well as the babies having to be in the nicu for a couple weeks… there was one night… I was so upset at God ..and then I told myself… it is a miracle they are here…. and I focused on the miracle… there was another moment i felt like i had failed them as a mother because i didn’t carry them to term even though there was physically no more room left in my body… and shortly after - my mind shifted… it became you carried them this far… and they are both alive… and here and you get to take them home soon. And then I found the strength to get out of the hospital bed even though I was very weak… and I went to see them in the nicu which was like 3 floors away or something crazy like that. And then I got to see them and hold them and cry with them and bring them home. Before I brought them home, the hospital discharged me and the babies had to stay in the nicu.. .and I was supposed to go back every day and do kangaroo care or they would lose the lack to thrive… I was in pain, but it didn’t matter… I wasn’t supposed to drive to the hospital on my own.. but, there was no one who could drive me. So I would drive … and pray the whole way to the hospital…to see them and be with them.. and kangaroo care with them.. and then drive myself back… everyday for 2 weeks… when I wasn’t supposed to drive. It is amazing what love does… It is amazing what love overcomes… it is amazing what love and God can do. ..Anyway, don’t ever feel bad ….about yourself post-pregnancy.. or about your body after giving birth or about how people will react or respond or anything like that…. and if you do reach out… because I understand….
I know these photos will help you to not feel so alone… or so different or separate from other people in the world… and celebrate ~ celebrate your bi-racial family! Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about being a bi-racial family. … I tried to find the pictures of my sister on my devices - quickly, but I cannot… she is also in a bi-racial marriage etc… he has children of his own… and she is very supportive of them… I will try to send them in the future… please do not advocate for mtn to be with someone else … not when God has made if very clear that he is the one that has been chosen for me and I have been chosen for him… also, I owe no one an explanation of anything…nothing… I have only chosen to explain so you may have greater understanding. That is all. He has not been chosen by God to be with someone else other than me. It has been made clear over and over again… without fail… God always makes it clear over and over again that MTN is the one for me. No one else. and that I am the one for him, no one else.
I have seen the headlines today: Clearly you have either spoken to him, or someone he knows before I shared this link with you… and they have told you things… given the articles I see coming out in print…. about both of you… i can always tell when people write stories that are either fake… or real and try to parallel my life.. etc… MTN was always very discreet and always asked for permission before sharing anything about my life or using it in some way in the form of publicity … in relation to himself, his orchestras or anything he does….He has always respected my right to privacy… and what I would like to keep private about our relationship and what I would like to share. Even the orchestras and the dioceses offices have always respected my privacy and gotten my permission first. Always. Even Pope Francis chooses to respect my privacy… etc. Even the politicians I have consulted with have respected my privacy and have always left it up to me what I say and dont say or share and don’t share. I have also always respected MTN’s privacy. Sharing this with you - I know he would not be upset. ….. the variety article …. from today… is clearly about mtn and i… and yes, he did share his playlist with me from spotify… and yes, he stayed at his uncles…he wanted the boys to stay in the guest room.. and he wanted me to stay in his room when we first arrived… the boys wanted to stay in his room… they were already so happy to meet him and know him and could feel his love. They were so excited to be in his space and with him…they had known all he had done for me and when they met him they were so excited and loved him right away. They wanted to stay in his space and for me to sleep in the guest room. MTN wasn’t very happy about that.. he wanted them to stay in the guest bedroom…but he agreed…Rose the hamster stayed in his room too… I thanked him for everything after he left that night.… and then… after I took the boys home that weekend.. I stayed in his room… like he wanted. He stayed at his families. His bed is perfect. I loved him more everyday I was there.. and fell in love with him more everyday. I would wake up and see his smiley face every morning - in the photography artwork across from his bed… it was a picture of him with his friends.. Did he speak with you about my arrival when I stayed at his place… ? OR did someone else? Not many people knew for it to be someone else who told you the details …
Also… it is better if we write through email instead… I think…
Here is the link for you …. this will definitely help.. it has helped me dealing with things that other people have said to me that were mean or hurtful.. etc… or the many other things I have gone through… Listen to this.. this is one of my favorite artists as well: https://youtu.be/-Nvfjn3jKYc
Oh, and I included the photos of my sister and Glen at the end of the slideshow…
Here are some photos for you to encourage you …. I put them together last night… i was going to add my sisters, but I still have to find them:
