Hint 5 & 6: Parenting Teenagers ~ Managing Conflict & Empowering Teens
We return with our series on Parenting and Families ….
Today we are focusing on Managing Conflict and Empowering Teenagers…
While conflicts happen within families as teens are beginning to gain their independence and make choices and decisions as the are growing into young adulthood, sometimes this independence is fought for, as parents try to control or as teenagers assert themselves.
While the expression of different views is normal, physical conflict should be avoided. Listening to your child’s perspective, having an open heart and spirit are key. In your family dynamics you want to have an atmosphere of healthy communication and respectful expressions of differences…..additionally, excessive conflict can make things worse and damage relationships.
Ways to resolve the conflict without causing problems include:
pressing the pause button…. pause the conversation until everyone can communicate with an open heart and mind.. take time out to understand what is going on, pause before you speak, in most cases ask why this is the thought or opinion or whatever the view is that is being expressed… Pause rather than react…
actively listen… engage in active listening …. discuss the different viewpoints …listen empathetically and speak up respectfully…. actively listen before your respond
Respectfully respond - respectfully responding includes empowering your teenager, and focusing on what is best for the child. Respond to your child respectfully, and they will respond to you respectfully. Give what you expect as in treat your child the way you would want to be treated, talked to, and understood.
While you respectfully respond to your child, you still have to relinquish the reigns a little bit and support your child as they are learning to take responsibility and remain involved in your teenagers life, stay connected to your teenager and empower your teen to become confident, capable adults who are responsible for their own lives. Instead of being indulgent, critical or permissive in your parenting, become empowering, let teens make some of their own decisions, let teenagers take responsibility, and take the time to teach your teen how to do certain things, as well as prepare them for the future - as in for college etc.
Remember that it takes skill to teach someone something in a way that empowers them and motivates them…additionally, the more fun and enjoyable you make the experience, the better. Agree to teach them the task and explain the task at hand… whether it is college applications, learning to drive a car, doing their own laundry, completing major projects, volunteering, or internships. Slow down and take the time to teach and explain. Additionally, support them in their future endeavors. Remember that your parenthood doesn’t end just because your children graduate high school. Overall, you want to have healthy, happy, confident teenagers who are also loving, kind, and respectful.. while also moving towards fulfilling their goals and dreams.
Based on: Parenting Teenagers: A Guide to Solving Problems, Building Relationships and Creating Harmony in the Family ~ By John Sharry
With Analysis, Insight, Writing and Perspective by Mary E. Grenchus
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