When Your Teenager Goes To College...

When your teenagers go to college, it marks a significant transition for both them and you as a parent. Here are some tips on how to navigate this period:

1. Prepare for the Transition

  • Emotional Preparation: Acknowledge that this is a big change. It's natural to feel a mix of emotions—pride, excitement, sadness, or even anxiety.

  • Open Communication: Talk to your teenager about what they can expect at college and discuss any concerns they might have. Encourage them to express their feelings openly.

2. Support Their Independence

  • Encourage Self-Sufficiency: Before they leave, help them develop life skills like budgeting, cooking, laundry, and time management.

  • Respect Their Space: Understand that college is a time for them to grow and explore independently. Be supportive but give them the space they need to figure things out on their own.

3. Stay Connected

  • Regular Check-Ins: Find a balance in how often you communicate. Regular calls or messages can keep you connected without being overbearing. Let them set the pace for communication.

  • Visit Occasionally: Plan visits to their college, but make sure to respect their new social life and schedule. Let them know you’re there for them without intruding on their newfound independence.

4. Manage Your Own Emotions

  • Acknowledge the Empty Nest Syndrome: It’s normal to feel a sense of loss when your child leaves for college. Allow yourself to grieve the change in your daily life, but also focus on the new opportunities this phase offers.

  • Stay Busy: Engage in hobbies, work, or activities that you enjoy. This is an opportunity to focus on yourself and rediscover personal interests.

5. Be a Source of Support

  • Offer Guidance When Needed: While they may not ask for it directly, be there to provide advice on academic or social challenges they might face.

  • Be a Listening Ear: College life can be overwhelming at times. Let them know they can always talk to you about anything without fear of judgment.

6. Help Them Navigate Challenges

  • Academic Support: Encourage them to seek help if they’re struggling with their coursework, whether from professors, tutors, or academic advisors.

  • Mental Health: College can be stressful. Keep an eye out for signs of anxiety or depression and encourage them to use campus resources if needed.

7. Plan for Holidays and Breaks

  • Welcome Them Home: Make their homecoming special by preparing their favorite meals or planning family activities. This reinforces that home is still a place of comfort and support.

  • Respect Their Need for Rest: Remember that they may want to relax and recharge during breaks, so avoid overloading them with plans.

8. Adjust Your Parenting Role

  • Shift from Manager to Advisor: As they move towards adulthood, your role will evolve. Offer guidance and support rather than trying to manage their day-to-day life.

  • Encourage Responsibility: Let them handle their own problems, but be there to help if they ask. This will help them build confidence and resilience.

9. Celebrate Their Achievements

  • Acknowledge Milestones: Celebrate their successes, whether it's completing a tough semester, landing an internship, or graduating. Your pride and encouragement mean a lot.

  • Keep Perspective: Remember that college is a time for growth, and mistakes are part of the learning process. Encourage them to learn from their experiences and move forward.

10. Look Forward to the Future

  • Embrace Change: Recognize that this is a new chapter for both of you. It’s an opportunity for them to grow and for you to explore new roles and relationships.

  • Plan for Life After College: Discuss future plans with them, such as career goals, grad school, or other post-college aspirations. Be supportive of their choices and dreams.

This transition is a big step towards your teenager becoming an independent adult. By supporting their growth while also taking care of your own well-being, you can both thrive during this exciting time.

Looking for a Deeper Dive? Join Our I LOVE MY LIFE MEMBERSHIP where we offer a whole series of resources on the topic of families, and children in college as well as other areas in love and family…. or sign up for our 1:1 PRIVATE INTENSIVE COACHING where we go into greater detail and offer Transformational Relationship and Family Coaching and support you in your journey in love and family!

Mary Grenchus