What Does it Mean to Have The Love You Deserve - Pt II
So now that we know, believe, trust, have faith and feel that Perfect Love and True Love are possible,
what does this Perfect Love and True Love concretely look like in our relationships?
A Bond of Unity ~
A bond of friendship is the core to perfect love - that is, we see God/Divine/Christ etc as our friend. A bond of friendship is also core to true love -
both are based on true friendship which includes:
Being valued for who you currently are,
Feeling safe to be yourself without guilt, shame, or manipulation,
Sharing feelings and dreams, as well as needs with consistent honesty, openness, and kindness to each other,
Expressing yourself to each other, journeying with each other through trials and tribulations, as well as celebrations and joys: Laughing easily and freely with each other, and crying with each other, being able to express a range of your true emotions with each other.
Being listened to, listening to each other thoroughly, not judging or condemning the other all the time,
Caring about each other’s well-being as much as our own (this is one of the reasons why it is essential to have self-love aka love yourself, vs. having self-hatred).
Additionally, true friendship and deepening of friendship will call you out of your comfort zone to deeper intimacy, with the person you are in friendship with.
In the area of true love, if a relationship is based on just the physical - as in just attraction or sexual attraction or lust for the other, and lack friendship - then it is not genuine love. According to Peck, physical attraction without friendship cannot sustain the heart and soul of genuine / true love. When people approach a relationship with a friendship first perspective it opens the relationship up to it’s fullest potential. When you accept that you want no less than this, then you are more in alignment with true genuine love. Additionally, when you believe in perfect love (God/Divine/Christ etc), and you begin to understand who Perfect Love is, and what perfect love is, your love experience will rise to new expectations, your desire for true love will increase. When you experience true love / genuine true love you are well-loved. When you have the belief that you deserve to be perfectly loved … you will be able to see more clearly just how God/Divine/Christ perfectly loves you, and how others can love you too… as well as the reality of true love / genuine true love being real and open to you.
When looking at friendship in relation to true love and true genuine love there are two things to remember, 1. If the friendship is meant to become love, nothing can stop it. God is in ultimate control of True Love and Genuine True Love. God is the ultimate creator of love, as God is Perfect Love. You will cherish each other as friends and more than friends.
2. If the friendship is meant to only be a friendship, then you will cherish that friendship. That means, you will still be friends and you will cherish each other as friends.
Additionally, for true love to be present, and for a relationship of friendship to turn into a relationship of dating/towards marriage etc… one must let go of feelings of not being good enough, as well as let go of the fear of ruining the friendship if they enter into a deeper relationship than friendship - with the other person. Remember, that you alone set the standard for the quality of your love life. That includes whether you will be with the person that truly loves you, and in a relationship that is true love /genuine true love or not. When thinking about being friends or moving into a deeper relationship with someone it is helpful to believe in the best, that the relationship will work and to not worry about how the relationship may fail if you move into a deeper relationship with the other.
What is the next layer?
we will be addressing this in our next post ….
(Based on The Love You Deserve by Scott Peck)
With Analysis, Insight, Writing and Perspective by Mary E. Grenchus
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