True Love: Unconditional Love Part II

Unconditional Love is considered Love without Limits…

But What Does This Mean?

According to John Powell SJ Unconditional Love is a life principle.

“Most of All, Let Love Be Your Guide” (Col 3:14) …

So what then, is the Meaning of Love?

“It is only with the heart, that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye” ~ Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Being in love is not just a feeling, but a deep commitment of offering your love. When your offer of love is accepted and reciprocated, you are , by your own free choice committed to the happiness, security and well-being of the person you are in love with. Where there is a person in your life that you care more about their growth and happiness and it is more real than your own, then True Love is present. The commitment of love calls for careful and active listening. In the case of True Love, you care more about whatever the other person needs, as well as their wants, goals, and dreams, you are attentive, caring and open to what the person communicates to you, and is not able to communicate to you. You are dedicated to the other person’s growth and fulfillment, while you remain truly committed to the other persons happiness and joy. True Love is unconditional, and it is always a free gift. True love means you want to share with the other whatever you have and are that is good. When True Love is present, it means you have chosen to give the gift of your love to the other, and the other has chosen you; the other chooses to love you.

Powell SJ states it best when he writes:

“The essential message of unconditional love is one of liberation. You can be whoever you are, express all your thoughts and feelings with absolute confidence. You do not have to be fearful that love will be taken away. You will not be punished for openness or honesty. There is no admission price to my love, no rental fees or installment payments to be made. There may be days when disagreements and disturbing emotions may come between us. There may be times when psychological or physical miles may lie between us. But i have given you the word of my commitment. I have set my life on a course.” (73)

This way of being accepts the other and frees the other to be themselves to discuss their feelings negative / positive reactions, and does not reject the other. They are committed to the other person’s growth and happiness, and will always love them. Human potential and growth grounded and based in love, expands the human soul. Unconditional love is liberating and frees the loved one to be authentic and real. There is no fee or price for this love. The love you give, you give freely and it is a gift to the other. Love itself is the purest and simplest gift. The commitment present in True Love is a real profession of belonging, and a choice that changes two lives and unites two people forever. Although a piece of marriage is bringing happiness and joy to the other… the ultimate purpose of marriage is to bring Glory to God, by loving the other, caring about the other, being present to the other, giving your life as a gift to another, you are bringing Glory to God.

Powell writes:

“When a couple exchanges rings on their wedding day…the circle of the ring is symbolic of the endlessness of love; marriage is the public profession of unconditional love. It is a relationship of total honesty and openness. The primary gift of love is offering one’s most honest self with full disclosure. In this, you only find true freedom by being bound to the other, through the commitment made to each other. Three parts to love include:

Kindness - the truth that the other is on your side and cares about you. and you are on their side and care about them. Love communicates that you truly care about the other, that you want their happiness/joy and that you will do what you can to assure it. You recognize and own the fact that the other is a uniquely valuable person.

Encouragement - a strong reassurance of the other’s own strength and self-sufficiency as well as your own. Love offers a person roots (a sense of belonging) and wings (a sense of independence and freedom). To encourage the other is to instill into the other a new and fuller awareness of his or her own powers and strength, encouraging them that they can do it!

Challenge a loving but firm exhortation to action. True Love invites the other to stretch and grow beyond the old limitations and to attempt what was always considered too difficult, and to rise above fear to love. True love demands that we learn how to focus our attention on the needs of the ones we love. “At times, love will insist that you postpone your own gratifications to meet the needs of those you love. The kind of communication which is the lifeblood of love will require you to get in touch with your most sensitive feelings and your most buried thoughts, and to share these in vulnerability. If you try to put walls around your vulnerable places, love will tear them down. Love teaches you to give and receive without weighing the cost. True Love calls you to give 100%.

According to Powell, the salvation of man is through love and in love. Love cures, It cures those who give it, and it cures those who receive it. Even great doctors are unanimous in the praise of love and love relationships as the chief source of human maturation. This is part of choosing love as a life principle… but also… choosing the other person you will spend your life with. Your love is also to be a reflection of the love of God for you/ God is live and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him (1 Jn 4:16). The yes to truly loving someone is making a commitment to them - this yes, has many other little yeses inside of it. It is saying yes to True Love and Being in Love with that person during the good times and even during the difficult times.

(Based on Unconditional Love by John Powell SJ)

With Analysis, Insight, Writing and Perspective by Mary E. Grenchus

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