True Love: Real Life Love Part I
Loving relationships are one of the most important factors in our personal well-being. Our happiness and joy are in direct correlation to the love we feel in our relationships. Why? For one reason, it is only in the context of connection with others that our deepest needs can be met. Whether we like it or not, each of us has an unshakable dependence on others. ‘No Man is An Island.’ we need camaraderie, affection, friendship, and love. These are not options in life, or sentimental trimmings. They are part of our species’ survival kit. We need to belong. We need real life love.” (xii)
So what does Real Life Love - True Love Include?
Love as Real As a Tiger
There are different types of love. According to CS LEWIS ~ EROS means sexual love, as well as being in love…the love that creates butterflies or gives you butterflies. While PHILIA is the type of love between friends. - this is having a genuine fondness and friendly regard towards someone. This includes your running buddies, a neighbor helping someone, or just the joy of going to lunch with your friends.
There is also AGAPE love. This is the type of love that never gives up. This love cares more for others than oneself. This love “fills your soul with the light of a thousand sunrises. The kind of love that makes the twists and turns of life worthwhile. This is real life love” (7).
TRUE LOVE - contains all three of these. True Love moves between all three of these at given times within a relationship. True Love gives love and receives love with open arms. Yet, we all have real emotions, feelings… but true love includes real feelings and emotions, honor, celebrating and overcoming obstacles, you growing in deeper relationship with God (as God is love), servanthood, and understanding.
One of the questions to ask yourself is are you ready for a real life love and to experience true love?
Step 1:
Growing in Love for Yourself
Honor: “the beating of our relationship is honor. Without honor, real life love cannot take place.
According to Gibson: “the beating heart of our relationships is honor. Without honor, real life love cannot take place” (19). Honor is when you treat people like they are priceless, it is respect that is given to someone who is admired; one whose worth brings respect. To understand honor, understand and get to know why you truly love the person you are in love with. Everyone is unique, and has tremendously high worth to God. True love follows honor - when you value their unique qualities and personality. Love only exists where there is honor… now, yes, sometimes, people can do things to hurt your feelings, or sometimes treat you like they don’t value you… but, even in these moments, if someone truly loves you honor will always return.
Also, remember that to honor others, you have to honor yourself. Honor God, others, and God’s creation. “God doesn’t need to sift through our dirt to find our unique and special qualities- he finds them immediately and God’s love for us is the foundation of honor. Understand your own value to God and love others as you love yourself. “You are worth more to God than all the gold in the world.” God loves us with our faults and weaknesses.
Granted, people are not perfect and can disappoint us or make us angry. True love includes honor that sees that everyone has faults and loves anyway, and honors anyway. This is when you can still see the good in people, despite their flaws.
In order to love despite flaws, you must work on yourself and love yourself… despite your own flaws and imperfections. This is part of you being emotionally healthy, so that you can give of yourself to others and make a sacred commitment to them, because true love wants permanence and strives for sacred commitment.
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Mt 6:21). When you invest your time, energy, words, actions, and YOUR HEART, in treasuring someone and seeing the treasure in them, your heart will grow in love of them, for them, and with them. That means, when things get difficult…as they sometimes do… you make a decision to love them anyway. When you love them anyway, you both begin to grow and grow more deeply in love despite what you go through. Real life love is about second chances, and never strikes out. Real life love work to achieve harmony. This includes living out the truth that there is nothing the person you love could do that would make you stop loving them.
What else is Real Life Love?! - Stay tuned!
for our Next Post to Find Out More!
(Based on Real Life Love: Saying Goodbye to the Fairytale and Hello to True Relationships by Michael Gibson)
With Analysis, Insight, Writing and Perspective by Mary E. Grenchus
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